Another musical joke

Pretty Good Joke of the Dayfrom A Prairie Home Companion®

A rabbi was walking along the seashore when he found a glass bottle washed up on the beach. He uncorked the bottle, and out popped a genie. "Thanks! I've been stuck in there for 2000 years. Have three wishes!" said the genie. "Great!" said the rabbi. "Well, I have these grandchildren, and I want them to always be happy..." "No problem," said the genie. "All taken care of. Happy, healthy, rich, it's all there." "Great! Now, there's all this trouble in the Middle East, you see—" The rabbi pulled out a map and showed the genie the extent of the problem. "Sorry," said the genie. "Out of my reach... but you have one more wish." "Well, I'm the part-time conductor of an orchestra, and... the violas just can't play in tune..." The genie stared at the rabbi for a moment, and then said, "Can I please see the map again?" 

From Abigail Cahill, Madison, Wisconsin





 


Herb Gart
Sent from Polymail

Another Parrot joke! Got any to share?

A man buys a parrot, not knowing that it previously belonged to a foul-mouthed longshoreman. One day, after several weeks of trying to teach the bird not to curse constantly, the man and parrot get into a screaming match. In frustration, the man tosses the parrot into the kitchen freezer and slams the door. After several seconds of terrible swearing there is dead silence. Horrified that he may have killed the bird, the man opens the freezer door. The parrot calmly walks out, perches on the man's shoulder and says, "Please accept my sincere apology for my past behavior. You may be assured that I will never again use offensive or inappropriate language." The man is dumbfounded. He is about to ask the parrot about his change of attitude, when the parrot continues, "If I may ask, what did the chicken do?"  

From Keith Sanders, Chattanooga, Tennessee

Herb Gart
Sent from Polymail

Tristan's dilemma

These negative things you're blocking out, the pain, the hatred, the feelings of neglect and of abuse. A part of you thinks you deserve it. 
That you deserve the solitude that comes with never being loved, the heartache that comes with fooling yourself again and again; the plain chronic tiredness that comes with giving all your love away and having no one to replenish that source. So you made yourself bullet proof so no bullet could ever penetrate you again. 
 
But darlin, when you block out love bullets, you block out the basis of all things good in the world.






Herb Gart
Sent from Polymail

TRUMP LOST THE $$$ VOTE!

another divide exposed by the election, which researchers at the Brookings Institution recently discovered as they sifted the election returns. It has no bearing on the election outcome, but it tells us something important about the state of the country and its politics moving forward.

The divide is economic, and it is massive. According to the Brookings analysis, the less-than-500 counties that Clinton won nationwide combined to generate 64 percent of America's economic activity in 2015. The more-than-2,600 counties that Trump won combined to generate 36 percent of the country's economic activity last year.

Clinton, in other words, carried nearly two-thirds of the American economy.

Leonard Cohen's 25 year old vision

In a letter to his publisher, he said that he was out to reach “inner-directed adolescents, lovers in all degrees of anguish, disappointed Platonists, pornography-peepers, hair-handed monks and Popists.”

There were days of fasting to concentrate the mind. There were drugs to expand it: pot, speed, acid. “I took trip after trip, sitting on my terrace in Greece, waiting to see God,” he said years later. “Generally, I ended up with a bad hangover.”

R.I.P. LEONARD COHEN IN HIS OWN WORDS

He opened his eyes, paused awhile. Then he said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to finish those songs. Maybe, who knows? And maybe I’ll get a second wind, I don’t know. But I don’t dare attach myself to a spiritual strategy. I don’t dare do that. I’ve got some work to do. Take care of business. I am ready to die. I hope it’s not too uncomfortable. That’s about it for me.”

Leonard Cohen bits and pieces

from David Remnick story in New Yorker

at the clothing factory, where he picked up a useful skill for his career as a touring musician: he learned to fold suits so they didn’t wrinkle.


as he wrote in a journal, he always imagined himself as a writer, “raincoated, battered hat pulled low above intense eyes, a history of injustice in his heart, a face too noble for revenge, walking the night along some wet boulevard, followed by the sympathy of countless audiences . . . loved by two or three beautiful women who could never have him.”


“His gift or genius is in his connection to the music of the spheres,” - Bob Dylan.

Dylan went on. “In the song ‘Sisters of Mercy,’ for instance, the verses are four elemental lines which change and move at predictable intervals . . . but the tune is anything but predictable. The song just comes in and states a fact. And after that anything can happen and it does, and Leonard allows it to happen. His tone is far from condescending or mocking. He is a tough-minded lover who doesn’t recognize the brush-off. Leonard’s always above it all. ‘Sisters of Mercy’ is verse after verse of four distinctive lines, in perfect meter, with no chorus, quivering with drama. The first line begins in a minor key. The second line goes from minor to major and steps up, and changes melody and variation. The third line steps up even higher than that to a different degree, and then the fourth line comes back to the beginning. This is a deceptively unusual musical theme, with or without lyrics. But it’s so subtle a listener doesn’t realize he’s been taken on a musical journey and dropped off somewhere, with or without lyrics.”


Cohen said he had a “sweet little song” that he’d been working through, one of many, and, suddenly, he closed his eyes and began reciting the lyrics:

Listen to the hummingbird

Whose wings you cannot see

Listen to the hummingbird

Don’t listen to me.

 

Listen to the butterfly

Whose days but number three

Listen to the butterfly

Don’t listen to me.

 

Listen to the mind of God

Which doesn’t need to be

Listen to the mind of God

Don’t listen to me.

He opened his eyes, paused awhile. Then he said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to finish those songs. Maybe, who knows? And maybe I’ll get a second wind, I don’t know. But I don’t dare attach myself to a spiritual strategy. I don’t dare do that. I’ve got some work to do. Take care of business. I am ready to die. I hope it’s not too uncomfortable. That’s about it for me.”