That's ONCE

A couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary in Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful and loving couple." A local newspaper reporter inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. The husband replied, "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.' We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I shouted at her, 'What's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?' She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.' And from that moment on ... we have lived happily ever after."  


America isn't America anymore!

Also in late February, Henry Rousso, a celebrated French historian of the Holocaust who was born and raised in Egypt, was detained for 10 hours at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston. Rousso, author of The Vichy Syndrome, about France’s struggle to reckon with its World War II history, was traveling to a symposium at Texas A&M University. Border officials questioned him about his visa and accused him of attempting to work illegally in the U.S. Rousso was first told that he would be deported, but was eventually released after Texas A&M learned of the situation and intervened. Like Mem Fox, Rousso’s experience has altered his view of the United States, as he wrote:

This incident has caused me some discomfort, but I cannot stop thinking of all those who suffer these humiliations and legal violence without the protections I was able to benefit from. …How can one explain this zeal if not by the concern to fulfill quotas and justify increased controls? That is the situation today in this country. We must now face arbitrariness and incompetence at all levels. I heard recently that “Paris isn’t Paris anymore.” The United States seems no longer quite the United States. 

Herb Gart
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Texas vs Alaska HaHa!

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Today's Joke: A guy walks into an Alaskan bar...


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Pretty Good Joke of the Dayfrom A Prairie Home Companion®

A guy walks into an Alaskan bar wearing a 10-gallon hat. He announces, "I'm from Texas, and I'm fed up with living in the second largest state. How do I become a citizen of Alaska?" A bush pilot steps up and says, "It's simple. All you have to do is drink a quart of whiskey, wrestle a bear, and make love to a woman, all in the same night." "Fair enough! One quart of whiskey, barkeep!" The Texan downs the liquor. A little wobbly now, he turns and runs from the bar. An hour later, the cowboy returns. His clothes are torn and bloody. His face is scratched and one eye is blackened. He addresses the bush pilot. "Now, where's this woman I have to wrestle?" 
I love great Artists, no matter what the medium

FBI, The Onion and Trump

FBI Panicking After Learning Encrypted National Security Communications May Have Been Intercepted By Trump Administration

WASHINGTON—Fearing the information had already fallen into the wrong hands, the FBI was panicking Tuesday after learning encrypted national security communications may have been intercepted by the Trump administration. “We are incredibly troubled to have learned that transmissions vital to homeland security could have been captured and decrypted by President Trump’s staff,” said FBI director James Comey, who said agency servers were rapidly being destroyed as a precaution while an urgent investigation was conducted. “If it turns out that Trump officials have indeed acquired these correspondences, it could mean the entire United States security architecture is compromised. We want to assure the American people, however, that we are doing absolutely everything in our power to determine what, if anything, has been obtained by these volatile and dangerous individuals.” At press time, the FBI’s worst fears had not yet been realized, as the Trump administration did not appear to be acting on any information from national security agencies whatsoever.

SATAN meets his match!

People were in their pews at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman, who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. "Don't you realize I can kill with a word?" asked Satan. "Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone. "Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan. "Yep," was the calm reply. "And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan. "Nope," said the old man. More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 44 years."