In the late 60s and early 70s the most popular ethnic jokes were
polish jokes about stupidity. These jokes were very popular for years.
At the time, almost no one objected to them and most everybody told
them.
A Polish electrician. I went to a concert in Poland and all the seats were lousy because you
were always sitting behind a pole. How do you save a polish person from drowning? You don’t know? Good! How do you get a Polish girl pregnant? Put some semen in a bowl and
let the flies finish the job. As you can see they ran from harmlessly, good-naturedly funny to
vicious, tasteless and cruel - all very popular. It actually got to
the poiint that Bob Newhart in a Las Vegas nightclub act saidÏ want
you all to know that I am not going to tell any Polish jokes tonight.
It’s gotten to the point where people of Polish descent are
embarrassed to admit they are Polish because they would immediately be
the butt of jokes ad infinitum. Let me prove it. How many people in
the audience are Polish? See? Almost no one raised their hand. Why?
I’m sure there are other Polish citizens here who are too embarrassed
to admit it - or they just didn’t understand the question!.Drum Roll. At the summer olympics at the height of the Polish joke epidemic the
camera focused on a dangerous and difficult turn in the kayak course.
Country after country sent their Olympians down that course and
navigated the obstacle. I swear the following is true. The announcer
said here comes the Polish team and they promptly overturned. This
made for funny newspaper copy. No internet at the time. All of this is by way of preparing you for a tasteless joke about a
serious tragedy. Yesterday the country of Poland lost their President,
and First Lady and several important government officials as well as
the head of the National Bank and some 80 other dignitaries as they
approached the landing field in Russia to attend the memorial service
about the massacre of Polish people during the Second World War. They
flew in on their Airforce One too low and hit some trees and the
airplane and all aboard were killed instantly. The ultimate Polish
joke. I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ THIS!
As far as the Pope is concerned, let’s start by quoting Woody Allen in
Deconstructing Harry. “Between the Pope and air conditioning, I’ll
take air conditioning.” The real reason the priests, cardinals,
bishops and Pope try to protect the ‘çhurch’ instead of the children
is because there is nothing unusual about molesting kids in the
church. To some degree it has been going on for centuries. The reason
for the big scandal is because the media and the internet move far too
fast to control them Also, the same day we learn what happened in
Wisconsin, we learn what happened in Brazil. The poor Vatican doesn’t
stand a chance. Yet, much like our Teaballs party they reveal
themselves under stress. We are being the equivalent of anti-semites
or termites or something. How dare we rock their boat, WE ARE GOD’S
LAW. Fuck you.
Those among you who molest youngsters are criminals. If necessary, we
should invade The Vatican. It makes more sense than the reason we
invaded Iraq.
our nukes as will Russia. We will still have way too many nukes, but
it’s a start. I commend Obama for changing our atomic face to the rest
of the world and regaining some of our credibility when we ask others
to do the same. One of the most chilling ‘finger on the red button’
stories I found was Donald Rumsfeld’s testimony to Congress when he
said he didn’t want to destroy any of our nukes because he would hate
to see them go to waste. He said it in a nostalgic way as if to bring
back the cold war. You all realize that the return of communist,
socialist, and facisist exhorting by Republicans is an effort to
replace the cold war with a new bludgeon. 911 was a gift to Bush. Most
people don’t remember it, but in his first public utterances he said
that he now knew why God had chosen him to be President. He also
elevated Al Queda from criminals to our equal on the field of battle
by declaring war against them. He also used the word ‘çrusade’ which
is the exactly wrong symbol to send to the Muslim world for a thousand
reasons. One of the things we don’t seem to grasp about many cultures
is that their history is current. Something that happened hundreds of
years ago is still a sore on the surface. We don’t understand because
we have no such history. We are brand spanking new - and we are
isolated and insulated from most of the action. Which is one of the
reasons we so overreacted to 911. It was traumatic - and it should be
- way beyond reason. We are still scared to death that it will happen
again. Talk to the Irish or Ghanians or Kurds, the British, the
Indians on both continents or the Iraqis and Israelis. We have spent
billions of dollars to prevent one terrorist from crossing our border
- and he’s the one who will get through anyway while millions of
people are discouraged from coming to this country (one of the reasons
we had no chance to get the Winter Olympics). Obama believes in Peace
On Earth. I think that some people around the world and around town
will begin to realize that is not a sign of weakness. Give Peace A
Chance.
