Fwd: Punography




Begin forwarded message:

From: "songndancer" <songndancer@msn.com>
Date: January 17, 2014 at 4:13:09 PM EST
To: "yes" <yes@therainbow.com>
Subject: Fw: Punography

thought you'd like these............Bob


Punography


PUNOGRAPHY (aka "groaners")

·  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

·  When chemists die, they barium.

·  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

·  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

·  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

·  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

·  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

·  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

·  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a typo.

·  This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·   PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

·  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

·  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·  What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.

·  I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·  Broken pencils are pointless.

·  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

·  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

·   I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

·  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

·  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·  Velcro - what a rip off!

·  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy. 

Pink Floyd has an anti-Semite racist in their midst!

I’ve read some heavy-duty attacks on Israel and Jews in my time, but they pale beside the anti-Semitic diatribe recently offered by Roger Waters, co-founder and former front man of the legendary British rock band Pink Floyd. In an interview with CounterPunch online magazine, Waters experienced a shocking Jew-hating colonic.

According to Waters, Israel is a “racist apartheid regime” that practices “ethnic cleansing.” A great artist such as himself will not play in a country equivalent to “Vichy government in occupied France.” Likening Jews to Nazi collaborators was not enough. Waters then went further, comparing Israel to the Nazis themselves. “I would not have played in Berlin either … during the Second World War.” Waters believes that Israel is guilty of genocide, only “this time it’s the Palestinian people being murdered.”

Waters was on a roll. Israel is a “brutal and oppressive regime.” And the rabbis, oh, those murderous, racist rabbis. “The right-wing rabbinate is so bizarre. They believe that everybody that is not a Jew is only on Earth to serve them and the indigenous people of the region that they kicked off the land in 1948 … since they are subhuman. The parallels with what went on in the ’30s in Germany are so crushingly obvious.”

The Jews are dumping a “huge bucket of crap that they are pouring into the mouth of a gullible public, in my view, when they say, ‘We are afraid of Iran; it is going to get nuclear weapons.’ … It’s a diversionary tactic.”

I could go on quoting Waters’ interview, but I’m getting nauseated just writing this stuff. Suffice it to say that he claims he was offered “$10 million” by a Jewish promoter to play in Israel but retorted, “Are you f—ing deaf or just dumb?! I am part of the BDS movement; I’m not going anywhere in Israel, for any money.” He then tried to dissuade Cyndi Lauper from playing in Israel.

Given this interview, I would assume that not too many Israelis will lament losing the chance to see a Pink Floyd reunion in Israel, and maybe we should just leave it at that. But even loathsome, stomach-turning anti-Semitism deserves a response in case gullible fans might actually believe this twisted twaddle.

Mr. Waters, the Nazis were a genocidal regime that murdered 6 million Jews. That you would have the audacity to compare Jews to monsters who murdered them shows you have no decency, you have no heart, you have no soul. The Jews of Germany did nothing to invite the aggression against them. Indeed, they were loyal citizens of a country that many of them had fought for courageously just 20 years earlier in the First World War. They did not blow up buses for political purposes. They did not send terrorists into schools to murder children. They did not preach that killing German children would get them virgins in heaven. They lived lives of humanity and decency and were murdered for no other reason than the fact that they were Jews.

You have disgraced yourself by comparing the martyred 6 million, which included 1-and-a-half-million children who were gassed to death in cold blood, to Palestinian terror organizations like Hamas, whose stated intention it is to wipe Israel off the map.

The Palestinians were given endless opportunities to live with Israel in peace, including the 1936-37 Peel Commission, which partitioned the land into two states, and the U.N. partition plan of 1947, both of which gave the Arabs far more land than the Jews. The Jews accepted the offer, and the Arabs rejected it and instead dedicated themselves to Israel’s destruction. If you don’t believe me, Mr. Waters, then surely even a bigoted ignoramus like you is capable of accessing Wikipedia.

After the Arabs launched another war of annihilation against Israel in 1967, the Jews miraculously defeated four invading Arab armies and conquered huge tracts of land. Rather than practicing any kind of ethnic cleansing, Israel gave back the entire Sinai Peninsula—an area three times the size of Israel—to Egypt in exchange for a peace treaty and announced that it would leave the Arabs and the Muslim Waqf in charge of the holiest site in all of Judaism, the Temple Mount. This act of accommodation has no precedent in the history of the world.

Still, Arafat’s PLO, with its declared intention of armed struggle and destroying the Zionist presence, launched terrorist outrages like the 1970 Avivim school bus massacre and the 1974 Ma’alot school massacre. Despite this, Israel never relinquished its hope that Arab leaders who were sincere about peace might arise.

In 2005, Israel voluntarily withdrew from all of Gaza. Its reward? Hamas, with its genocidal charter against Israel, was voted into power and almost immediately began launching thousands of rockets into Israel, targeting homes, schools and buses filled with children.

Muslims have every right to expect that Jews in general, and rabbis in particular, similarly condemn any acts of violence intentionally directed at any Arab civilian. We are all equally children of one God.

But Hamas is motivated not by Palestinian freedom but by hatred of Jews. Hamas’ charter continues to call for genocide against Israel and the Jewish people: “The Day of Judgment will not come until Muslims fight the Jews, when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say, ‘O Muslims … there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him.’”

When Hamas came to power in 2006, they channeled the billions they received as the world’s largest per capita recipients of international foreign aid into rockets rather than hospitals, bombs rather than universities. And they intentionally launch their rockets from nurseries and schools rendering the innocent Palestinian population into human shields, not surprising for an organization that regularly murders Palestinian homosexuals under the false accusation of collaboration and engages in honor killings of young Palestinian women whose only crime is to have a boyfriend.

Roger Waters’ balderdash about rabbis believing that non-Jews are subhumans is the dirtiest of blood libels and contradicts the core teachings of the Torah, which states in its very first chapter, Genesis 1, that every human being is created equally in the image of God.

And surely, even someone with as rancid a heart as Mr. Waters is familiar with what Christians call Jesus’ golden rule but which is actually found much earlier, in the Hebrew Bible, the commandment to “love your fellow man as yourself” (Leviticus 19.17), which Hillel, in the Talmud, interpreted to mean, “That which you hate do not do unto others.”

Perhaps Mr. Waters should take Hillel’s advice. Stop maligning a people who have paid a terrible price for the kind of abominable lies that people like Roger Waters unjustly hurl.

CES had a few significant items among the junk.

Typically, the Consumer Electronics Show (CES), which just wrapped in Las Vegas, is a place for announcements with more light than heat. But amidst the bizarre and unnecessary gadgets that will soon be forgotten, big companies rolled out a handful of technologies that could be truly transformative.

What’s noticeable about these game-changers is that, despite CES’s doggedly gadgety nature, most of them weren’t gadgets. For example: While flat screen TVs may have reached the zenith of their development (paywall), the services piping content to them, mainly Netflix, are for the first time innovating in ways that are impossible for cable operators and with physical media like disks. Similarly, “connected cars” were a big part of the buzz at CES, but the software for them is likely to be a much bigger industry. Meanwhile, a company called Nuance pointed the way to a future in which all of our devices accept voice commands.

Lefsetz strikes again

giving people what they want is artistic death, cultural bankruptcy, art is about opening eyes and ears, both reflecting the human condition and liberating people from it.

I love great art - no matter the medium..

Lefsetz rants and tells some truths




Begin forwarded message:

From: Bob Lefsetz <bob@lefsetz.com>
Date: January 10, 2014 at 1:51:32 AM EST
To: yes@therainbow.com
Subject: Christie
Reply-To: Bob Lefsetz <bob@lefsetz.com>

Is it me, or has society always been this coarse? Has a plethora of media shone a light into every nook and cranny or has America fundamentally changed, and now it's every man for himself, and if I have to climb over you to get what I want, tough noogies.

But it's not only Christie. It's those employees in New York who rigged the disability game, who said they couldn't leave the house and turned out to be sportfishing with their free time. Did this always happen, or when the President lies about getting a blow job and a previous majordomo employs voodoo economics to allow a whole slab of consumers to pull away from the rest (yes, I'm speaking of the vaunted Ronald Reagan) the rest of the populace wakes up and says...I'm gonna be a chump?

Sometimes that's what I feel like. Because I'm not a lying, cheating, scumbag.

Hate to burst your bubble, but that's what the music business is. It may be driven by tech, but theft and dishonesty and intimidation are still baked in. But the artists used to be pure, right?

I'm not so sure about that. But they used to be informed, they used to be leaders, they paid lip service in their songs to a better life wherein we were all brothers together. Now they sell VIP passes if they're not scalping their tickets outright and might have Twitter accounts but make sure to fly private and live in gated communities, because that's what the rich and powerful do today, remove themselves from the rest of us, throwing us crumbs and disinformation along the way to keep us ignorant. Kind of like the plethora of Republicans who don't believe in evolution. I mean if we can't agree on science, there's no place to start, and that's exactly my point, I'm not sure where we're starting today.

Jaron Lanier laments that when these tech companies triumph on our backs only a few get rich, we pay with our information, but we don't share in the spoils, not even a discount on a new hand-set. And I used to pooh-pooh his viewpoint but Snapchat and Instagram are worthless without our participation. In the sixties there'd be revolt. But today, all musicians want to do is complain about Spotify payouts when streaming won, did you see that track sales are down? CDs, vinyl, paper books, I wish all the Luddites would get their respective heads out of their rear ends and start looking forward so they could affect the future, but they can't, it's just too scary, they've got to stay in the past, lamenting the Zuckerbergs who came of age in the twenty first century and realize there are no rules, when bankers ruin the country and go free and taxes are low and there's no safety net if you're not busy raping and pillaging, you're busy starving.

So an honest forthright person gets no slap on the back, instead he gets a slap in the face. He loses his unemployment insurance, and state governments refuse to give him his Medicaid. And I don't want to make this a right versus left equation, Republicans versus Democrats, then again, Democrats propagated the notion that we were all in it together and had to take care of each other, before they all sold out to lobbyists.

So now we don't look to governments to solve our problems, but icons like Elon Musk. Actually, if income inequality is eviscerated it will be by one of these visionaries, not the public at large, because there are no more public movements, none with any traction. The Tea Party is a fiction run by the Kochs and other fat cats and the organizers of Occupy Wall Street were so busy saying there were no leaders that the holier-than-thou media buried them. Yup, we still live in a media-controlled world, and if you think your Tumblr makes a difference, you probably believe your Pinterest page is influencing Anna Wintour.

But it comes down to education. Most people are not smart enough to grasp the issues. That's the mark of an educated person, someone who can hold two conflicting ideas in their brain at one time. Like the value of a concert ticket is $300, but if we charge that, real fans won't be able to get in. But screw the real fans, our customer is the Fortune 500, the advertisers, right?

Right. Isn't that what it used to be about? Right and wrong? Isn't that what your parents taught you, before they went to school and argued with the teacher, telling them Little Johnny couldn't possibly be wrong? In the old days, we quaked in our boots if we brought a note home from school, now parents defend their children as if it's impossible for their progeny to do any wrong.

And they see their boss making millions and paying little taxes.

And they see the riches paraded by the Kardashian Krew.

And they say to themselves, why should I be honest, why should I have good values, why should I hunker down and study hard to make more of myself when the ruling class is dealing with this country like it's its playtoy, not caring a whit whether someone is sacrificed in the end. It's like our whole country is playing musical chairs, and if you're handicapped or sick, too bad, you're gonna end up out.

So I don't know what to believe in.

Used to be it was records. Before music turned into two camps, the ultra-rich singing about their lifestyle who want nothing to do with us, who represent nothing more than aspirational figures, and the bitching untalented, without good voices or chops who just complain that they can't make it here.

Not everybody deserves to make it.

But everybody deserves an opportunity. Everybody is entitled to food on the table and a roof over their head. As for the "winners," they can't win without us buying their products and if you don't think luck is involved in success, you've only read about it.

So I'm sitting this one out. I'm not going to listen to the bloviators. I am going to applaud the "New York Times" for doing its job. I'm not going to read the Roger Ailes bio because I already know he's a scumbag and the people who don't are never going to be convinced otherwise.

Still, if we're all looking for the edge, if we're all trying to climb the greased totem pole, what is end game?

The truth is the game is rigged. And until we're willing to stand back and say we're mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore...

You won't be able to get an abortion.

You'll never escape your college debt.

You won't pay any income tax, but the truth is the poor never do, and the corporations don't either. We're heading straight towards bankruptcy, not because of some fictional debt issue, but because we won't fund schools, we won't fix bridges, we won't invest in the infrastructure this country needs to move forward.

Kind of like Christie. Who killed the NY/NJ tunnel. Forget bad traffic at the George Washington Bridge for a couple of days, for years after this blowhard retires ingress and egress to the city will be hampered. Oh, that's right, the rich can afford to live in Manhattan... What about their domestics? The street sweepers? The firemen? The cops?

All being driven to dishonesty by a country wherein the top is triumphing and the bottom is getting squeezed out and the only thing that matters is your bank account.


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