Fwd: Punography




Begin forwarded message:

From: "songndancer" <songndancer@msn.com>
Date: January 17, 2014 at 4:13:09 PM EST
To: "yes" <yes@therainbow.com>
Subject: Fw: Punography

thought you'd like these............Bob


Punography


PUNOGRAPHY (aka "groaners")

·  I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

·  When chemists die, they barium.

·  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

·  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

·  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

·  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

·  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.

·  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

·  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a typo.

·  This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·   PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·  I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

·  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.

·  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·  What does a clock do when it's hungry?  It goes back four seconds.

·  I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·  Broken pencils are pointless.

·  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

·  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

·   I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

·  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

·  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·  Velcro - what a rip off!

·  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.