A pirate walks into a bar. He has a wooden leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The barkeep hands him a grog and asks, "Do you mind if I ask how you got that wooden leg?"Arrgh," says the pirate, "Cannonball." "Oh, dear," says the barkeep. "How about the hook?" "Arrgh," says the pirate, "Great white shark." "That must have been painful," says the barkeep. "And the eye patch?" "Arrgh," says the pirate, "Seagull." "Good heavens!" says the barkeep, "A seagull flew into your eye?"
"No," says the pirate, "I happened to look up just as the blasted bird dropped ballast." "Unfortunate," says the barkeep, "But how could that cause you to lose your eye?" "Arrgh," says the pirate, "'Twas the first day I had the hook."
