A guy runs into a bar, panting, and shouts at the bartender, “Quick, tell me — do you have penguins around these parts?” The bartender says, “Uh, no, we don't.” The man groans and says, “Oh, my god, I just ran over a nun...”
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ian Kimmet <sawsong@hvc.rr.com>
Date: Sat, Jun 10, 2017 at 12:28 PM
Subject: Italian opera savages trump & co. Classic!
To: Herb Gart <yes@therainbow.com>
From: Ian Kimmet <sawsong@hvc.rr.com>
Date: Sat, Jun 10, 2017 at 12:28 PM
Subject: Italian opera savages trump & co. Classic!
To: Herb Gart <yes@therainbow.com>
tadzio
The candy store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?" "No..." said the little boy. "It's a puppy!"
Kushner’s outreach, at a time of alleged Russian meddling in the U.S. election, has fed accusations of Trump campaign collusion, which the FBI is investigating.
Former CIA boss Michael Hayden asked on CNN: “What manner of ignorance, chaos, hubris, suspicion, contempt would you have to have to think that doing this with the Russian ambassador was a good or an appropriate idea?”
Back channels are fine, Hayden said, “but you don’t do it when you’re not the government and I don’t think you do it using your adversary’s communications system.”
The blue whale has a body the length of a jet airliner, a heart the size of a car, and a tongue the same weight as an elephant.
One day in the Garden of Eden, God comes to Adam and Eve and tells them he has two gifts — one for each of them. The first, he says, is the ability to pee standing up. Adam starts jumping up and down excitedly and loudly declares that he wants it. Eve, listening to him jabbering on and on about it, rolls her eyes and asks God what he has left for her. "Brains," he replies.
A fellow is selling puppies at a flea market. His sign says, "Republican Puppies, $50." A week later, the same man is selling the same puppies at the same flea market, but the sign says "Democratic Puppies, $50." A possible customer asks, "What's up? Last week they were Republican puppies and this week they are Democratic puppies?" The seller replies, "This week their eyes are open."
The car comes screeching into the driveway and the woman gets out and runs into the house shouting to her husband, "I just won the lottery. Start packing!" Her husband says, "Great news! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" She says, "It doesn't matter. Just get out!"